Living Without Them

I moved away from my home, our home, less than 2 months after he passed. I came back to my hometown. The thing that gets to me more – my cat couldn’t stay with me. Since Chris passed, she had been my comforter. Luckily, my brother and his fiancé took her in but the pain of missing her is almost as strong as missing her ‘dad.’

Today I saw her. She was originally in the kitchen, though I couldn’t find her. Someone went in there and I see this white ball run up the stairs. I was talking to my brother and I hear her start meowing. It gets increasingly louder as I go towards her talking. I get in the bathroom, put down my arms, and she jumps into them.

She was her dads cat. She worshipped Chris. She would snuggle with him more than me, usually biting me. But the day I came home without Chris, our relationship changed. She slept with me. She would be my shadow. Going to see her.- having her head butt me and try to hide in the crook of my elbow – reminds me that I can keep doing this. That I have to for us. So that, even if Chris can’t be here, we can be together.

I don’t know where life is taking me at all. However, I will fight to make sure she stays in it. My Roo Bear.

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