6 months feels like a lifetime. Just as our relationship seemed to evade time, so does this after. Some instances it feels like it happened yesterday. Others, it feels like he’s been gone a lifetime. I can talk openly about it all now and not have a complete breakdown though my voice still cracks.
The past month has been so incredibly kind to me. I’m currently sitting in MY apartment, with our kitten (Roo) getting into every single box there is. I’ve had to rescue her from several tall ones. It’s been four months since she and I have shared a home. It may be a long night as she explores, but I am so incredibly thankful that she is under my roof. That she has snuggled up to me already and purred. Hearing her tiny meows.
I’ve found a very amazing person who in, some ways, I think Chris helped lead me to. The past few weekends have been spent with him, and he doesn’t get tired or frustrated with the million Chris stories I tell. He makes me laugh, which i am 100% sure Chris would be down for. He helped me move into my apartment and has been keeping the lonliness at a minimum. It’s been nice having someone to share conversations with someone. To share the same geeky quirks and likes so that I can fangirl freely.
6 months out is not looking anything like I imagined 6 months out should, or would, look like. But it is. I am thankful for the peace that is somewhat entered my life. January 14, 2018 looks a million times better than I’d imagined. The pain is still there but I am learning to embrace it as part of life and to enjoy the moments i am given with others. After all, I know Chris would be proud of where I am.